arthur's plan of action
We must take action now, not only to regain our lost
chocolate from the oppression of corporate cocoa policy, but to fight for all
the future confectionary that will be lost in a bitter tyrade of cost cutting
and damning of the traditional values we hold so dear. This page is here to
inspire you all to fight for your chocolate and make your voice heard!
Organise a protest rally in your area
The bi-monthly Bridlington A.C.A.C.C.A.C. demonstration march is always a big
success. Arthur leads the parade down Bridlington high street where the angry
mob, bitter that they can no longer enjoy a chewy Texan bar, smash up the local
branch of Woolworths.
The police are powerless to stop such raw anger and emotion. At the very climax
of the event, an effigy of a popular chocolate manufacturer, constructed
entirely out of Snickers bars, is doused in lighter fluid, burnt and paraded to
the door of Bridlington's local MP, where Arthur's mum hands in a petition,
usually containing over 250 signatures.
Boycott offending products
Why do you need to eat Snickers and Starburst? Do you have another favourite
chocolate bar you buy, when all you really long for is a Texan? And do you
really need another Easter egg with a chocolate bar next to it?
Well don't settle for anything less than the genuine article! Arthur says
boycott Snickers and Starburst and let's get these corporate scum where it
hurts them most: in their big fat wallets! When the profits start falling,
they'll soon come back to you begging for your custom.
Instead, you can switch to eating marzipan or baking soda instead, as these are
non-branded products available everywhere. Plus marzipan is one of the 5 major
food groups alongside meat, vegetables, pulses and bread, so it's good for you
too! (The British government approved RDA of Marzipan is 6.0g)
Other ideas include...
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Start a petition and send it to your local MP
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Spit at other people who purchase Snickers, Starburst and incorrectly packaged
Easter eggs
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Cut off the fingers of shop assitants who attempt to restock their shelves with
the afformentioned products
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Organise terrorist action against confectionary manufacturers in your area