An Unlikely Hero
When news of the 'Dirty Cheese' drama first broke, Arthur was working as a
simple cheese roller within Bridlington Cheeses. He had got the job a few years
earlier as part of a youth training scheme, after he was sacked from McDonalds
for nibbling the cheese slices before putting them in the Burgers.
His time at work was monotonous: Go to work, put on hygienic hair-net (Arthur is
not keen on dressing in women's clothes) cheese goes in, cheese gets rolled,
flavour and cheesy goodness goes up, cheese comes out, leave work.
And his home life was a disaster: He still lived at home and spent most evenings
looking after his little brother, Kevin, whilst his mum went out to work.
Arthur wasn't quite sure exactly what his mother did for a living. She said she
worked as 'a lady of the night', but Arthur had occasionally seen her wandering
the streets of Bridlington in some very revealing stockings and wondered why
his mother would be ashamed of admitting she sold tights door-to-door. Why on
earth people would only buy tights at night he didn't really know, but he
didn't know the hosiery industry like his mother, so he didn't like to question
her.
Arthur needed a miracle. Something to change his life for ever (and for the
better). Something to motivate him. Something to excite him. Something to renew
his energy. Something to light the spark, re-fire his imagination and turn his
life around!
So he decided to go down to the local chemists and buy himself a new toothbrush.
Arthur's current toothbrush was a few years old now. It hadn't got many bristles
left and this left his gums were constantly sore. His mum wouldn't let him have
a new one because she was still using her old toothbrush (Arthur always
inherited his mothers toothbrush after she had finished with it, in a
hand-me-down type of fashion; Kevin would then get Arthur's cast off brush).
But this time was going to be different. He was going to be positive, stand up
to his mother and say 'I'm going to buy my own toothbrush today! And if you
don't like it then we may have to sit down and talk about it, which may result
in me taking the new one back for a refund if it hasn't already been opened.'
And so, with his new found, positive, I-won't-be-pushed-around attitude, he
gathered up Mr. Percival (his piggy bank, into which he placed all his spare
change) and marched down to his nearest branch of Boots.
Having negotiated the cosmetics counter and the enthusiastic young ladies that
worked there who tried to spay him with all kinds of smelly stuff that didn't
have anywhere as near a nice aroma as cheese, he found the toothbrush aisle.
Unfortunately, things were not going to be as easy as he first thought; there
were hundreds of different styles! Some with small heads, some with bendy
necks. Should he choose long or short bristles? And even then he had a choice
of colours! He'd never had a choice of anything before. The panic began to set
in. He scanned desperately up and down the rows of brushes, but they all looked
the same, blurring into a sea of on multicolured handles and bristles.
Then it happened. Something caught his eye. He stopped. It was different,
bigger, better than all the other tootbrushes. The sleek lines, small head,
dynamic bristles and angled neck. And it was electric.
"This must be the one", he thought to himself. He picked up the electric
tootbrush that was on display and carressed it in his trembling palm, feeling
its flowing, hygenic lines. As he activated the switch, the entire brush began
to gently vibrate with a comforting, buzzing sound. "Yes. This is the one." The
hypnotic oscillations filled his entire body. He felt the awesome cleaning
power at his command. And without a second thought, the entranced Arthur took
the brush and Mr Percival over to the cash desk...
Chapter 3: The new toothbrush >>